Storms

Hey.  Just wanted to do a quick post.  I don't really know what I want to say... I just feel like I should say something. 

There's been something on my mind lately, especially with some new things that have happened that will significantly shape how I live my life for the next year or so, and maybe even more.  Nothing catastrophic.  No one close to me has died.  I haven't had my heart broken yet.  My parents still have their jobs.  I haven't developed cancer or some other fetal illness.  I still have a roof over my head and plenty of food to eat.  And yet I still must face these hard trials. 

I'm too embarrassed to share it publicly, which is probably a little shameful and prideful on my part, but it still remains.  But my dad found out about this trial today.  It crushed me to see his disappointment.  On the outside, it may seem that his worry is double that of mine - and it may be truthful on the inside as well.  It's like there's no hope in his eyes.  Yet I still chose to desperately cling to it. 

From the past couple years, I have learned to look at trials from a very different perspective.  I try to see them as blessings in disguise - which can be very hard at times.  When we are faced with challenges, I think every single person - optimist or pessimist - sees the negative side first.  We have this knack of finding the little things that are wrong, worrisome, or problematic.  We tend to think of the worst possible scenario.  While the pessimist chooses to dwell on these scenarios, the optimist will cast them aside and chose to look at the positive side that, while sometimes more subtle and hidden, is always there.  Me, I chose not to dwell on the negative, but I don't cast it out either. 

In one of my classes this past semester, we were talking about a story about a family's journey to a new land and how the entire journey was a symbolism, a microcosm for our whole lives.  The family had to travel in small, crowded boats with no windows or ways to go out and get fresh air.  Half the time the entire boat was filled with only darkness.  And the entire time, a storm raged on over the sea and the family could never tell where they were, how much farther they had to go, or even if they were going in the right direction.  But they never lost faith that God, their Heavenly Father, would help them reach their destination.  Some might wonder how these people could continue on, or how God could let the storm rage over them and let them go through so much torment.  Just like when we feel like we're drowning under the ocean in a boat we can't get out of or breath in, we shout out "Why me, God?"  We wonder why we have been forsaken and what we have done to deserve such treatment.
....But then, we never stop to think, "Why has God presented me with this challenge?" "What can I learn from this?"  We don't realize that while the poor family is being tossed about by the stormy rain and winds, it is those same winds and rain that is pushing the family towards their goal.  God sends us winds, rain, and storms so that we can grow, so we can learn, so we can reach our potential and our goal.

Trials are not a result from God forsaking us, but of God pushing us to be more.  He will never give us anything he knows we cannot handle.  So don't give up.  If He knows you can do it, you better believe it. 

It may seem hard now, and it may be for a while... But have courage that it's a sign that your Heavenly Father trusts you can handle it. 

I don't know what this next year might bring for me, but I'm not worried so much like my dad is.  I'm not going to just leave things to chance, but I'm not so afraid.  Everything has a purpose, and everything is meant for a reason.  If I am meant to go through this challenge now, so be it. 

The wind may try to topple me over, but it's really only pushing me forward. 

So bring it on.